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Thursday
May092013

El-No: If it walks like a duck...

New Game: European Tourist or Hipster Art Student?

Please discuss.

Monday
Apr292013

El-No: Psychedelic Pilates

Whack! 

I got dharmad. I think that I'm hallucinating. 

My eyes were hit with this tie dye explosion and I might never be the same. 

Adults who wear tie dye are brave. Adults who pattern mix with two tie dyes are straight up crazy. 

Admittedly, Miss El-No was spotted at the gym. And we all know that sometimes it takes all of our effort to get to the gym... let alone look good. But tie dyed spandex is never the answer. NEVER. I don't care how toned your pilates booty has become. 

Miss El-No, I think this ensemble might be a better choice for your tie dye loving self: 

Tank: Hard Tail Tie Dye Cami with Shelf Bra for $62

Pant: Lululemon Run Inspire Crop II for $86

 

Wednesday
Mar132013

El-No: Goo Goo Ga Ga Goodfellas

I felt decidedly under dressed at baby music class. 

In a sea of Lululemon mommy uniforms, Mr. El-No stuck out like a gleaming gold extra in Mob Wives Chicago

I noticed the faux Louis Vuitton shirt the moment my tiny musician and I arrived at class. And of course who could miss the multiple gold chains, the large watch, or the sparkling stacks of diamond and gold rings? Didn't Sopranos go off the air?

While my mini was shaking her maracas, I was shaking my head. Was it safe to sit with my back to the door? Were "Willie Potatoes" and "Joey Doves" going to jump out from behind the toy drums? 

Apparently mafiosos have kids too. 

 

 

 

Tuesday
Jan152013

El-No: Mother Trucker

2006 called. 

Ashton and Paris would like their trucker hats back. 

Mrs El-No, I recognize that you are trying to be a cool mom. But wearing a trend from six years ago isn't going to help. Loose the lame lid please. 

 

 

 

 

Monday
Jan142013

El-No: Pleats Please! A January PSA

It is freaking cold outside. Brrrrrrr. 

My first train ride of 2013 and I run smack into a outwear travesty (not to mention a major pet peeve). Seriously people! Is it so hard to just get a pair of scissors and snip the thread that holds the pleat closed?!

That stitch is just there to keep the pleat flat while in a retail store. Keeping the pleat closed ruins the line of the coat when you wear it. Notice how this closed vent make the coat pull across her bum? She is a lovely girl with a lovely cream colored wool coat. 

Make it stop. 

As I disembarked from the Blue line, I mentioned to Miss El-No that her coat vent was still closed. She looked at me like I had six heads. Whatever girlfriend, you're the one wearing Ugg slippers on the train. 

 

 

Monday
Dec102012

El-Buy: It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

Check out these fabulous holiday party looks! From casual to dressy; whimsical to serious.... I've got you covered.

 

Holiday Party Looks

 

 

Trina turk
nordstrom.com

 

Louche dress
modcloth.com

 

 

Kate spade
nordstrom.com

 

Jimmy Choo high heels
net-a-porter.com

 

 

R J Graziano r j graziano
lordandtaylor.com

 

Vintage umbrella
modcloth.com

 

 

Thursday
Dec062012

El-No: This Is What We Call The Muppet Shooooow!

It's time to play the music

It's time to light the lights

It's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight.

It's time to put on makeup

It's time to dress up right

It's time to raise the curtain on the Muppet Show tonight.

and... Scene. 

 

From the ridiculous purple hair to the crazy shoes, I'm speechless. 

 

 

Monday
Dec032012

El-No: Costco Calamity

Those pants look uncomfortable. 

You know what else was uncomfortable? My eyes. 

I saw waaaaaay too much. 

My general rule of thumb is that slacks shouldn't be so tight that they offer a genetics lesson to unsuspecting pedestrians. 

The really troubling part was that this little lady works at Costco- the land of the return policy. You can return everything there... including pants that have been worn. Ahem. 

Might I suggest the lovely bootcut Seven jeans that I saw over near the table of baby pajamas? Take a right at the chocolate covered pretzel samples and go straight on 'til you hit the mother lode. Can't pry yourself out of these painted-on pants? I saw bolt cutters in an aisle somewhere north of the electronics. 

 

 

Friday
Nov302012

El-No: Two Tone Trixie

The Voice's Melanie Martinez is adorable. Her two tone Rockabilly inspired hair is as fabulous as her sweet singing voice. 

But I couldn't help but think of Melanie when I saw these color blocked tights. Yikes. Before I can even entertain this two tone legwear, the 180 ear muffs and the jazz shoes have to go. Like yesterday. 

Can we get the Team Adam stylist on this ASAP? 

Miss El-No needs a Melanie Martinez inspired outerwear makeover. 

Hat: Kate Spade Bow Ski Hat for $88

Coat: Il Sogno Nel Taschino Coat for $468.98

Shoes: Kate Spade Trixie Flat for $228

 

 

 

 

Thursday
Nov292012

El-Yes: WWJD? 

I'd like to blame my blogging absence on a certain tiny nine month old girl. 

But if JSimp has enough time to be a Weight Watchers spokesperson, take care of a baby, and get pregnant again, I can certainly update my blog. Once I heard the news of her impending arrival, I thought WWJD? (Jessica not Jesus). 

Loading up on spuds for Thanksgiving, I spotted Miss El-Yes at the vegetable market. Girlfriend had it going on. I abandoned my grocery cart and high tailed it over to the canned goods to snap a picture. I love her whole look and think this is the perfect mommy-about-town ensemble. 

I want it... All of it. 

Sweater: Michael Kors Ombre Sweater for $417

Coat: Stella McCartnery Striped Coat for $519.72

Necklace: J. Crew Bubble Necklace for $105

Mom Friendly Necklace Option: Chewbeads Jane Necklace for $29.50

Jeans: J Brand 811 Dark Mid Rise Jean for $196

Boots: Frye Phillip Studded Harness Boot for $288

 

 

Monday
Nov192012

El-Yes: It's A Small World After all

Fate made me go into the Starbucks on Chicago and Franklin (and the need for a holiday cup filled with gingerbread latte). 

I love this Starbucks because it is always filled with fashionable gallery workers and Merchandise Mart employees. I ease dropped on a discussion about SOFA (apparently disappointing) and Carl (as in Carl Hammer). While I strained my ear for any design gossip, I noticed Miss El-Yes waiting for her coffee. What a dress!

Later that evening, I went to the Junior League of Chicago Gazebo holiday market. I was blown away to discover Miss El-Yes's dress hanging on a sales rack at the Archer Townsend booth. What a small world! 

Archer Townsend is a new contemporary women's line that has fantastic pieces (like this dress). I love this simple dress paired with chunky grey boots. A perfect look as we head into the chill of Fall and Winter. 

 

 

Tuesday
Nov062012

El-No: Grand Old Gams

Happy Election Day America!

Looks like Yankee Doodle didn't listen to the weather report before she went to the polls. It's cold out there! 

Regardless of whether you're Team Romney or Team Obama, I think we all can agree that bare legs and 30 degrees don't mix. Cover up those stems! Miss America should have added some leggings or tights to that boot and dress combination.

Seriously girlfriend. Check the binders full of women... I'm sure that there is a section on legwear. 

I vote she that she buys these Pretty Polly "House of Holland" tights. What could be more patriotic than star tights ($34)? 

* Thanks for the photo AGS 

 

 

 

Monday
Nov052012

El-No: Oh Sandy! Shorts? 

**Sorry for the blogging mini-break. Super Storm Sandy knocked out my blog's server. But we're back!**

I saw this Mister at Starbucks two weeks ago. I was sipping my iced tea when I looked up to discover a bevy of interesting fashion choices. A rather feminine transparent shirt and tank paired with rolled shorts, trouser socks, and penny loafers.

I'm confused. You? 

Maybe this guy was going as an sexy Bermudian for Halloween? 

I think Mr El-No might need to call up Trunk Club for a little assistance. I am confident that they can suit him up with something a little more chic and appropriate. 

 

 

 

Monday
Oct292012

El-Yes: I Got 5 On It- Halloween 2012

I spent my Saturday morning in a park, surrounded by pint sized trick-or-treaters and puppet shows. A little boy asked me what I was dressing up as, and I said a "Mommy." What have I become?!

Sigh. Pass the Kit Kats and spiked cider. 

That doesn't mean that I can't put together my annual list of LBD centered Halloween costumes. So grab your little black dress and get ready for these last minute costume ideas. Happy Procrastinating! 

1. Hurricane Sandy- Attach pastic buildings and boats to your LBD. Using hair gel, give yourself a "wind blown look." Carry around a squirt bottle with water in it. Boom. Weather Channel ready! 

2. Honey Boo Boo- Just add a tiara and a 2 liter bottle of Mountain Dew. Really drive it home with a pageant sash. Start telling everyone that you've been sassified. 

3. Snooki and Lorenzo- Grab a long black wig and make sure to puff it. Add in bronzer, animal print slippers, and a baby. Extra points for using an electric wheelchair and talking about how you were "disabled" while pregnant. 

4. Fresco Jesus- For all of the art historians out there! Make a faux fur brown hood that ties under your chin. Turn your head to the side and paint on exaggerated lips. Ta da! 

5. Tan Mom- Cover yourself in bronzer and brown face paint. Grab a short blonde wig. You're in business!

 

Wednesday
Oct242012

El-No: PSA- Pajamas Are For Sleeping

I racking my fashion historian brain. When did it become acceptable to wear pajamas out in public?  I'm not being facetious. I'm actually curious how this happened. 

After careful consideration, I'm blaming the 2000s. Our casual lifestyles got a little too casual. 

All things must come to an end. Pajamas in public, you have run your course. In addition to looking very sloppy, I see these flannel night clothes as a walking germ factory. Hello city bus seat! Why don't I rub you all over my bed sheets? Someone call the CDC. Maybe they can talk some sense in to people? 

Girlfriend, get some slacks. Is saving the minute it takes to put on new pants really worth getting MRSA? 

Didn't think so. 

 

 

Thursday
Oct182012

El-Read: Style Doesn't Have An Age Limit

Christmas Shopping = Over

The blog Advanced Style captures photographs and videos of stylish and sassy seniors. It is absolutely inspiring.

Ari Seth Cohen, the blogger, has just put out a book by the same name. I know a certain Indianapolis senior who will be receiving this under the Christmas tree. 

My Grandmother collects hats, loves sequins, and has about a hundred pairs of eye glasses. When my grandfather passed away, all of the female funeral attendees wore hats as a nod to my grandmother. She has even been featured in a few local publications for her fabulous "advanced style." I think this is just the book for her!

Tuesday
Oct162012

El-No: Double Trouble

Whole Foods is filled with all kinds of interesting people watching. I'm pretty sure that I found a mommy posing as a hip hop mogul over by the organic apples.

Miss El-No was clearly a little heavy handed with the old bedazzler because her silver sequins nearly blinded me. I stepped around to get a better view and discovered the silver moon boot high tops. But then I looked up. 

Behind moon boot mom was something far worse. (Hint- look to the right)

Shocked! Awed! Amazed!

A pregnant woman wearing a skin tight striped dress, knee highs, and orange wedge high tops. Bemused smiles (in the direction of the mom to be) were being shared all around the produce section.

It was double momma drama!

These ladies need a fashionable mom makeover because they were both trying waaaaay too hard to be hip.

Mommy #1 can loose the sequins and silver high tops and replace them with this silvery grey Bobi Cowl Neck Pullover ($103) and Steve Madden Favoryte shoes in silver ($69.95). So much more chic!

Mommy #2 and her bump could be a little less bedonka donk. I love this More of Me Emerson Wrap Dress ($190) and these Splendid Culver Wedge Boots ($148 from shopbop.com- take 20% off with the code WEAREFAMILY at checkout) and a pair of black tights. So lovely for Fall!

Tuesday
Oct092012

El-No: The Frost Is On The Punkin

When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock

And you hear the kyouk and gobble of the stuttin turkey-cock

Please excuse the James Whitcomb Riley reference. No doubt that the Hoosier Poet and his strutting turkey would also dislike these slacks.

I mean really... Flesh tone pants? Sigh. Does nobody listen?

Love the colored pants trend, hate when they match your skin tone. This just isn't flattering. 

Miss El-No should swap out the skin tone skinnies for some of these cool options: 

J.Crew Toothpick Ankle Cord for $98

Banana Republic Skinny Cord for $79.50

Gap 1969 Skinny Jean for $69.95

 

*Thanks for the photo SEA

Friday
Oct052012

El-Yes: Sweater Weather

Grab your pumpkin spice latte... it's sweater weather!

Miss El-Yes is putting a feminine spin on a menswear inspired cardigan and button down shirt. Using sleek fabric and a trim fit, she really rocks the look. 

Crush it this Fall with these perfect pieces: 

Kate Spade Boucle Trim Cardigan (on sale!) for $178 in a beautiful green and blue combination

Brooks Brothers Fitted Non-iron Bold Stripe Dress Shirt for 2 for $159- my absolute FAVORITE button down shirts!

J Brand Mid-Rise Slim Leg Jean in Ignite for $191

Born Riley Flat in Navy Patent for $89.95- that's right... NAVY! I found a cute navy shoe!

* Thanks for the photo MS. Good sighting!

 

Thursday
Oct042012

El-No: Real Pants, Maybe? 

My baby hates Carly Rae Jepsen. 

Hate is a strong word. I guess passionately dislikes is a more truthful phrase. 

I was changing the station as Miss El-No crossed Chicago Ave. The red flannel pajama pants caught my attention as breathed a sigh of relief that I had narrowly missed a "Call Me Maybe" induced shower of baby tears. 

Pajamas in public? 

Sigh. I don't get it. Is it so hard to put on actual pants? 

It's hard to look right

at you baby

Your pajama pants

Just drive me cray cray 

How about these Not Your Daughter's Jeans Sheri stretch velveteen pants? They are cozy, flattering, and seasonally appropriate. Scoop them up for only $130 at Nordstrom.