El-No: Derelict

I only got like three consecutive hours of sleep last night. That might be why I find this ensemble so hilarious. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm mildly delusional today.

Regardless, a faux fur trench, unlaced Doc Martens, and athletic socks are humorous on their own. But together? It's fashion comedy gold that appears to have been inspired by a volunteer donation sorting shift at the Goodwill intake center.

Lack of clothing continuity aside, Miss El-No needs some serious style updating. She should loose the disastrous juxtapositioning and try out some new seasonally appropriate trends.

How about neon? Maybe this pink Michael Kors dress ($1,595) or this great neon yellow Topshop dress ($92)  paired with these bright sandals from ASOS ($69.50). Much better!

* Thanks for the photo MLS 

El-Yes: Hello. I Love You.

These multi-colored shoes are perfection. When paired with a graphic black and white coat, they are even better.

The kicker? This chica has a small child! Proving that mommas don't have to look frumpy dumpy. Miss El-Yes two thumbs up in my book.

Channel her amazing look with this fabulous Constance black and white striped coat from Alice + Olivia for $495. While a big ticket item, this topper is a great buy for Spring. Add on these Dune Colorblock bold shoes from ASOS for $156.56. They come in blue/green or pink/orange. Sigh. You might need both pairs.  

You'll be the sassiest lady at Bubbles for sure.

El-Yes: Sunshine Shoes

Recently, I've been spending an embarrassing amount of time at Starbucks. The baby-friendly environment and caffeinated beverages are like crack to a new mom. This weekend, in a sleepy haze, I stumbled into our neighborhood Starbucks for a hit... I mean an iced coffee. I saw these fabulous bright yellow shoes. 

I need these sunny kicks! One look at them made me forget my fatigue and instead, start humming along to Katrina and The Waves. I'm totally walking on sunshine!

I am in lust with these Belle Sigerson Morrison laser cut ballet flats. The bright yellow and fabulous cut-outs are perfect for summer. I. MUST. HAVE. THESE. SHOES. ($225)

El-No: Ode To Tan Mom

People really need to lay off the Tan Mom.

Her baseball glove-like appearance makes me want to slather on sun block.  Dermatologists everywhere are cheering! Down with skin cancer and premature wrinkles! One photo of Tan Mom accomplished what the entire cast of Jersey Shore couldn't... and just in time for Summer. 

I'm suddenly ok with being pale. 

In other news, Tan Mom has a Chicago based relative named Orange Guy. I got this reader submitted photo on St. Patty's Day. Orange Guy stepped out in a pale green suit. It's like a Creamcycle and a Shamrock Shake met and had a baby.  

If Mr El-No lays off the spray tanning, I think this lighthearted green ensemble could work. It is witty and Miami Vice (in a good way) but really cannot work with his current orange glow. I suggest he cancel his Palm Beach Tan membership and spend the money on a scrub.  How about this June Jacobs Men's Exfoliating Scrub for $32? 

El-No: Moons Over Miami

File this look under: Things Not To Wear To The Roller Derby 

There is nothing more thrilling than an afternoon spent on skates (especially when your dance routine is washed down with an ice cold can of your mom's stash of Tab. Just me?).

I guess roller skates make me nostalgic. But it is hard to reminisce when you have a bare bum in your face. Dudes, we don't need the full moons. 

I think these Misters should move away from the leather goods and try for something a little less chilly. This Bettie Page pinup shirt ($24) seems like a better fit. Campy nudity? Check. Traumatized by a tush? Negative. 

*Thanks for the photo JK

El-Buy: Thanks Mom!

I was under the impression that I would receive some kind of instruction book when I checked out of the hospital with our new little bundle of joy. 

I expected the book of parenting directions to incorporate sections about childrearing and a glossery of FAQs that I would field as a mother. It was supposed to include age appropriate answers to questions like: Where do babies come from? Why do I have to eat broccoli? How do I know if this boy likes me? How do I do laundry?

Shockingly, there is no Mom Manual (either that or mine was lost in the mail). We all just have to figure this out as we go along. 

So, cheers to all of the Mothers. Navigating parenthood is tough stuff, so I think that Mom deserves a litle treat. Check out my favorite gift ideas on my Mother's Day Gift Ideas board. 

El-No: Looney Lunar Look

The moon was REALLY big this weekend. HUGE.

So, I am choosing to blame this wackadoo ensemble on the full moon. Clearly Miss El-No's sequined constellation cardigan was inspired by the celestial bodies. (I think that is Ursa Minor over by her armpit)

Peter Pan just called for this little lady. He wants her to take the "second star to the right and go straight on till morning." The morning light should help her realize that the rest of the outfit doesn't really jive. She needs to ditch the Stary Night sweater and the tropical maxi skirt. 

How about this amazing Wildfox "Seeing Stars" cream sweatshirt for $108 from Nordstrom? She could pair it with these J.Crew peach shorts ($45) and these adorbs J.Crew Mona leather pumps in dusty clay ($198). Now that is a much more dazzling look!

El-Yes: What A Blessyn

I'm back...

I've been getting my baby shiz in check for the last eight weeks. But my mini fashion lover and I are finally starting to feel comfortable (and my body is starting to automatically wake up every few hours). So I am ready to blog again.

First up? A review of Shop 857's Anniversary and True Blessyn's Launch Party. My amazing students Emily and Michelle hopped on over to the party and interviewed the boutique owner Kelli Jones and the True Blessyn designer Shani Brown. Some event attendees included blogger ‘Ana Fonua and Fame Production Group founder Kristin D. Williams.  Thanks ladies for the recon mission!

Emily did a great write up of the event and also included some pictures. You can follow Emily on Twitter @emily_morano

Background – Shani Brown

 Currently working full-time in Corporate America, this mother and designer has a lot on her hands. Originally from Jamaica, Shani has always dreamed of being a designer. She attended the International Academy of Design to pursue this dream.  

Her typical day includes working on her Spring 2013 collection, meeting with her manufacturer, sourcing fabrics, and spending time with her daughter. When asked who her favorite designers were, Shani wasn’t quick to name off a celeb designer but instead likes supporting the local ones. “It isn’t all about the labels for me.” Having worked at Gap for four years, Shani still very much enjoys shopping there for their great basics. For Spring, Shani is loving the pastels and pleated maxi dresses! 

Her advice to anyone who wants to be in fashion? You have to be business savvy! If you want to be a designer, know who you are designing for. Be persistent, stay true to yourself, and follow your dreams. 

Spring 2012 Collection

Inspired by “Dream Chaser,” Shani’s Spring collection is made up of bamboo cotton, linen-like denim, and hand-painted designs done in collaboration with artist Sam Kirk. My personal favorite was a t-shirt with the words “Confidence Doesn’t Whisper” with a pair of pouty lips. Shani said this collection was all about chasing your dreams and goals and not letting others get you down in the process.  

Fall 2012 Collection

Inspired by her ups and downs as a designer, Shani used red, black, and white in her Fall collection. A simple white blouse with a bow detail on the left shoulder, a layering tank with a hand-painted cross on the front, and a fun black and white patterned knee-length skirt were all part of the simplistically classic Fall collection.  

El-Vacation: A Very Stylish Girl

I'm taking a petite break from blogging.

Don't worry, it's nothing you did. We aren't breaking up!

On Thursday, our little girl was born. She is adorable and requires loads of attention and cuddles. I'm sure that she'll be scoping out fashion faux pas from her stroller ASAP.

See you in a few weeks!

El-No: You Need A New Best Friend

As I write this, two chubby little french bulldogs are snoring away to my right. These little loves provide oodles of kisses, licks, and laughs. They are also quite fashion savy and would never let me leave the house in this type of ensemble.

Woof! Don't even think about wearing that shiz. See? 

It appears that Miss El-No's canine bestie is not schooled in the art of styling. Clearly the dog is responsible for the hideous Reeboks and pant/ skirt layering situation. Fido should have chewed up those kicks the minute they were removed from the box.

While still nodding to Springtime brights, Miss EL-No can do much better than this look. How about these turquoise fitted skinny jeans from Forever 21 ($15.50)? For a dog walk, I'd pair them with these adorbs plaid laceless Keds for $45. 

*Thanks for the photo SR

El-No: Saved By Sonia

Every Sunday I take a trip to the local produce market. Lately, I have been stocking up on citrus fruits and photos of horrible outfits. 

Yesterday was no exception. 

Over by the breads, I discovered Miss El-No and her ridiculous hat. By "ridiculous" I mean "hideous headpiece that belongs on a pre-adolescent boy on a ski slope." 

What the heck was she thinking? This topper isn't even witty or ironic. It is just bad. 

I am loving this Sonia Rykiel Two Tone Bow cap at Nordstrom for $125. Rykiel, a French designer, is known as the "Queen of Knits" and introduced the idea of individualized clothing. She encouraged women to wear their clothing inside out and personalize the fit. These two ideas earned her a spot as one of the world's most elegant women. 

El-Buy: Pops for Spring

Sometime in the next two weeks, a baby will be arriving at our house. I'm expecting equal parts snuggles and sleepless nights. 

I think that I am going to be needing some visual pick me ups to keep me moving forward. Fortunately for me (but not for le wallet), there are some amazing brights headed our way this Spring. Here are a few of my current favorites: 

Top: J.Crew Navy and Kiwi Colorblock Stripe Boatneck Tee for $45

Skirt: J. Crew Warm Jade Long No. 2 Pencil Skirt in Double Serge Cotton for $128

Pants: Gap Red Modern Boot Cut Pant for $59.95

Jeans: Kate Spade Broome Street Colored Jeans for $198

Jumpsuit: Edith Shawl Collar Royal Blue Jumpsuit for $495

Sandals: J.Crew Festival Green Savina Studded Sandals for $265

Mini Clutch: Kate Spade Backstage Suze Clutch for $338

Sparkles: Bauble Bar Acrylic Personalized Necklace for $56

El-No: Contemplating Jazz

On Tuesday, I lectured on the Beat Generation. These post-war artists and poets rejected materialism and  the idea of fashion. Their denial of all things designer influenced both the hippie movement of the Sixties and Seventies and the hipster movement of today.

I wonder what Allen Ginsberg would say about Miss El-No's ensemble? I think that her odd layering would make him Howl.

Because only an "angelheaded hipster" would think this looks good.

I think Miss El-No needs to rock a Beat vibe a la Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face.

I love these slim cropped pants from the Gap (available in red too!) for $49.95. I would pair it with this Twenty sheer fitted turtleneck for $34.90. Saving on the threads will allow for a splurge on your feet. How about these beautiful Kori oxfords ($450) from Alexander Wang? The design is just amazing.

El-No: Sequin Seminar

Sometimes I daydream about all the people in America with bad fashion habits getting rounded up together for a required educational seminar.

This garment gulag would provide seminars and trainings about clipping your cell phone on your belt (Hey Zach Morris, do you really need to reach your phone that quickly? Can't it just go in your pocket or purse?)  or showing excessive cleavage (Put that shiz away.). 

I envision this course would be held in either a convention center in Vegas or at the Jersey Shore. 

This vision in sequins should definitely attend. Sparkling leather clogs, clothes, and a purse?! She might be too far gone for help. Oy. 

Here's a tip- try limiting your glitter and spangles to one article of clothing at a time. A little restraint will let you shine instead of your clothing and accessories. 

*Thanks for the photo DH

El-Yes: Fondness for Ford; Passion for Paltrow

Oh Gwynie. Just when I think that I couldn't love you anymore, you show up looking perfect.

I am not sure this is good for my health or wallet. I am already an avid goop reader, lover of Tracy Anderson, and Spanish food convert. I refuse to name my future child Apple. Stop making me have a girl crush on you!!!

Obviously, Gwyneth Paltrow's Tom simple Tom Ford sheath/ cape was my favorite look from last night's Academy Awards. Call me old fashioned, but you just can't top pristine tailoring. She was a modern take on Sixties vintage. I might have to go reread A Thousand Days of Magic: Dressing Jackie Kennedy for the White House. 

Sorry J.Lo- nip slips and open shoulders do nothing for me. 

Don't judge. I'm not the only one with a Gwyeth crush. Check out this pony post from Lock and Mane. 

Since I have spent all of my hard earned cash on workout dvds, Coldplay downloads, and goop iPad apps, I'm looking to Rent the Runway for some help in channelling my inner Paltrow. 

This Icelandic Dreams Dress from Halston Heritage provides the same lines and color (but with a more real-life friendly knee length hemline). It retails for $295 but you can rent it for $60! You can add a little sparkle with this Cara Accessories Dress Me Up Cuff Bracelet for $15. 

El-No: Under Pressure

You know that whole "If your friend jumped off a bridge" peer pressure thing?

Well, I'd like to address that while discussing these hooker tights.

This is the THIRD person that I've seen wearing streetwalker hosiery this week during the day. Third! Each barely there legwear example has been paired with a tight and tiny skirt. What is happening Chicago?!

I can't take all the overly sexy daytime ensembles. If I wanted to see this, I'd move to Vegas or go hangout in the VIPs parking lot (conveniently located across from the Lincoln Park Whole Foods coffee bar... Latte anyone?).

If you want to wear overly sexy tights, do us all a favor and pair them with something a little more chic. Give us something to work for instead of laying it all out on the table. Men like the chase... And I'm sick of seeing your chacha.

* Thanks for the photo JBW!

El-No: Pants Problems

Lululemon pants are magical. 

They are woven by elves (relatives of the Keeblers) and contain mysterious butt slimming fibers. I don't know how they do it but they turn run-of-the-mill tushies into something extraordinary. 

But there are rules for these spellbinding workout pants. Simple rules that Miss El-No has broken. 

Workout pants are not regular pants. I repeat WORKOUT PANTS ARE NOT REGULAR PANTS.

You can wear them to workout or to slum it around on the weekend. You cannot wear them with knee high stiletto boots and a sexy top.  

Miss El-No, please get some real pants. How about these adorbs colorful jeans from the Gap? I love them!!! For only $69.95 you can stock up on the surf and fucshia colors. 

El-Yes: Seasonal Disorder

I think Spring might have sprung.

I'm using that as my rational for all the florals that I've been craving. Yesterday, I almost broke out my cream colored floral flats (I know it is too soon... But they just looked so lonely in their box). These crazy temperatures and sunny days have me all mixed up.

Miss El-Yes has the right idea for the spring-like temps in a decidedly winter month. Seasonal pattern mixing! Right on sister. I love her plaid coat and floral scarf combination.

Get this look with a little help from Free People. This gorgeous vintage brushed plaid coat ($248) will take you through the cool temps expected in February and March. Pair it with this great DVF flowery scarf ($165). The color and pattern are a perfect way to inject a little Springtime sass.

El-No: Tag! You're It!

Happy Presidents Day!

George Washington, we salute you and give thanks for the fabulous day off from work. Now, go out and shop your brains out!

But... please make sure to take the tags off of your purchases before you wear them. I'm not joking here people. 

I was eating brunch this weekend when I saw Miss El-No enter the restaurant with her family in tow. Maybe she is just an over-tired mommy who forgot that she treated herself to a new blazer? The large tag was hanging from the armpit of her jacket. It was glaringly obvious in both its size (HUGE) and color (cream). Her husband and family members looked right at it and said nothing. Jerks. 

Lady, that blazer is a keeper. Clip the tags and enjoy it!

El-Yes: Silver and Gold, Silver and Gold

New York fashion week is over, but my clothing lust has only begun. 

While there are several future trends that I am eyeing, my favorite is the focus on metallics. What can I say? I love a little shine!

J. Mendel

Jenny Packham

Marchesa