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El-Yes: Internet Ha Ha


El-Yes: Falling For Dressage

Naturally, I am going to like any sport that includes the word "dress" in the title. 

I have been glued to the television watching the Olympic equestrian events. With each jump, my craving for Fall clothing has gotten stronger. I know that most girls want a pony, but I think that I am really salivating over the riding pant/ boot/ blazer combos. These horse people know how to dress. 

I think that I might need to wear this fabulous equestrain inspired ensemble as soon as the weather gets cooler. I am especially loving the peplum jacket! 



El-No: Internet Ha Ha


El-Yes: Can You Kandinsky?

This lady has a case of Kandinsky caboose... and I think that it is lovely. I would totally rock these abstract print pants!

Wassily Kandinsky, a Russian abstract artist, believed that art was linked to spirituality. He hoped that his abstraction would provide subjective responses from the viewer. Bravo sir. These slacks did provoke a response. 

I feel compelled to purchase these Loudmouth Golf pants ($95). I plan to wear the with a solid tank and some simple heels. Fabulous!



El-No: Olympic Sized Hair Issues

I've been glued to the TV the last few days. 

Yes, I love watching the athletes compete, but I'll admit that I have an addiitional motive. I have been on Scrunchie Watch: London 2012. Thus far, I have noticed solid color scrunchies, sequined scrunchies, and even an iridescent metallic scrunchie. 

It's like the 90s but with better music.

Athletes, I beg of you.... walk away from the scrunchies. I am just going to agree to disagree with the Huffington Post and their love for this old hair accessory. 

Meet the ribbon hair tie. Now, don't you feel more modern already? 


What The El? 

I'm stumped. 

This ensemble encompasses two of my favorite things: neon and the pink/green combination. But I also feel like she is dancing on the edge of looking like a survivor in a highlighter factory explosion. 




El-Buy: Urban Jungle

I must have fallen and hit my head.  I don't remember this, but that is the only logical reason for what I am about to tell you. Ready? 

I purchased shorts... And I wore them. 

Now, I want more. Obviously motherhood has changed me. Or I have some sort of concussion. Either way, here are some shorts that are on my radar. 


Urban Jungle


El-No: Waking Up In Vegas

Two ankle cherries and two Hawaiian back designs! (What does that win me at the nickel slots?)

Kitschy tattoos aside, Miss Rockabilly is missing the mark in the fashion department. She should be oozing retro instead of wearing this too tight all black ensemble.

I vote she kicks up the camp. Sister should swap out the shorties and tube top for this Traveling Cupcake Truck Dress from ModCloth ($59.99). It is both sweet and edgy- a perfect look. 

*Thanks for the photo SEA.


El-No: Walking Wounded


Truth: My camera work is a little like the Blair Witch Project (but swap out the night vision for speed walking in flip flops while holding an infant carseat). I'll call it: El-No Does Documentary

Anyway, Miss El-No was in hot pants, fishnet tights, and heavy boots. She must have been feeling hot (temperature and in an "all up in the club" sense) to pull out these bum exposing hot pants. Maybe a less bootylicious option would have been more appropriate for day? How about this short gore American Apparel skirt ($55)? 






El-No: Young'ins

Last week, I realized I am old. Not "AARP card" old but "go to bed at 11 pm on a Saturday after I've had a cocktail" old. But I'm ok with that... Especially if this is what I'm missing.

Twenty-somethings, you can have your too tight and too short clubby ensembles. If the spandex gets any more snug, your oxygen supply might be cut off! I prefer to spend my evenings with freedom of movement. The jaws of life have no place in my boudoir.

Like I said. I'm old.


El-No: Brain Teaser

I love puzzles and jumbles. So, imagine my excitement when I spotted a real life jumble at Whole Foods?! I entered the store looking for pretzel buns, but exited looking for answers.

What was this lady wearing? Silk, spandex, and flip flops! I'm so confused. I'll take "Laundry Day for 1000, Alex."

Maybe Miss El-No should try this V neck ruffle jumpsuit from DKNY for $345 on for size? She could pair it with these Sam Edelman sandals from Piperlime for $65.

That's a winner!



El-No: Game Show Monday

This photo was sent to me with the caption: Stripper or Concert Attendee?

Tough to tell, but I think I vote Concert Attendee. Although the casual yet comfortable lean on the light post has me thrown. What do you think? 

Miss El-No doesn't know the rules to the fashion game. Ladies (despite the summer temps) only show off one body zone at a time. Want to show your legs? Cover up your stomach and chest. Want to show off toned abs? You better be wearing long pants.

So, pick a zone Miss El-No! We don't need to see the whole kit and caboodle. The Ignite the Night dress from Modcloth ($52.99) will thankfully catapult you all the way into the Concert Attendee category. 

* Thanks for the photo SO.



El-No: No Pants Tuesday

With temperatures in the triple digits, I was almost tempted to forgo clothes and just rock a bathing suit. But then I remembered that A) No one wants to see that and B) I have air conditioning. 

So I guess I can't blame Mr El-No for skipping pants and showing his skivvies (or are those casual shorts?). I would, however, like to gently remind this Mister that his office is probably not "pants optional." 

The key to summer business casual attire is fabrication. Always opt for lightweight, light colored, breathable fabics when the temperatures are extreme. Check out these straight fit linen pants from Banana Republic for $69.50.

* Thanks for the photo CBR 




El-Yes: Mom Style

I was standing in a sea of luggage (mine) when I saw Mrs. El-Yes.

Growing up, my family subscribed to the "you pack it, you carry it" method of travel. Thus I have never had to negotiate piles of baggage.

But, add in a tiny creature and the luggage grows exponentially. Babies need gear... So much gear that I ended up standing curbside in a pile of bags while my husband got the car. Bag duty is the perfect time for people watching!

The Mrs, and her cute family, were in and out of the Arrival zone in minutes. Efficient and stylish - my kind of people. Mrs El-Yes looked absolutely lovely in her blue and green dress and coordinating Vera Bradley carry on bag. Love!

Get her look with this lightweight patterned dress from Garnet Hill for $78. Complete the look with this Vera Bradley tote in bosenberry for $86



I'm at the beach! See you next week!


El-No: RIP 

And we're done....

Hipsters, take note: Skinny jeans have jumped the shark.

How do I know? Let's ask Mr. El-No. He is the Keith Richards look alike baby boomer who I followed into Olivia's Market last night. When a man in his sixties has embraced skinnies, I'd say the trend arc is coming to a close.

"We'll miss you skinny jeans" said no one.


El-No: Riddin' Dirty

Attention car drivers: Get ready to roll your eyes and curse. It's bicycle riding season here in Chicago! 

I applaud those who ride their bikes to work. How wonderful to get some exercise, catch some rays, and save the environment- all before 9am. Sadly, I will not be joining your two wheeled morning commute. Skinned knees and weaving in and out of traffic doesn't really work for me. I prefer to take the train. With all of you fools choosing to bike to work, I can stretch out in the air conditioning and enjoy my iced latte in peace. Suckas. 

Miss El-No is riddin' both high and dirty. This wedgie was inspired by Chamillionaire. 

Maybe she should switch uo the undies to the ride up proof Hanky Panky low rise thong? I realize these aren't new to the underwear party, but why reinvent the bike wheel? I am currently in love with the Riviera Fling thong for $23- such a cheerful Summery pattern!

*Thanks for the photo LS




El-Buy: Botanic Manic

It was only supposed to be a quick trip into Subway (as quick as one can be while lugging an infant occupied carseat). Why pay for parking? I'll just throw on the blinkers!

$56.82 later (parking ticket + mediocre 6 inch sandwich), I am cursing myself and that darn lolly gagging sandwich artist. Why Chicago bicycle riding parking patrolmen? Why? **shakes fist at the heavens while silently cursing myself because I am really to blame.**

I would have much rather spent that $50 on this cool iPad cover at Antropologie. I would have been the chicest chica at the pool with this fab Botanic Trills iPad Case ($38). Alas. 


El-No: Shorties and Ice Cream

Textured white lace shorts certainly sound like something that is perfect for summer. 

So does eating ice cream in the buff, but we saw how well that turned out for this mom. The moral of the story is just because something sounds like a good idea, it might not be one. 

So back to the white shorts...

First of all, these shorties with a surface design are way too short for this body type. Adding black leggings is fuel to the fire. You might as well add arrows and a sign that says "Behold! The widest part of my legs!" I think Miss El-No needs to go back to the closet and start over. 

She can keep everything from the waist up, and replace the bottoms with these 7" chino shorts ($48) form J.Crew. They are fabulous and come in a variety of cool summer hues. This length will look so much better and will not require leggings underneath. Score!

*Thanks for the photo BGL



El-No: Party Girl Needs Some Polish

He He Helloooo!  

I found this party girl over the weekend in DC. She was standing outside of the historic Martin's Tavern in the evening heat. The muggy weather was no excuse for Miss El-No's super short spandexy situtation. There is a time and a place for everything, but this isn't one of them. Grabbing a low key drink with a friend is no time to show off your cha cha cha.

I admire her love of color and her desire to rock a summery short dress. Maybe something a little less "painted-on" might work better? How about this adorable Delia dress ($178) from Lilly Pulitzer? It is just perfect for drinks with friends- preppy and polished but edgy with an exposed zipper. Love!