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El-Yes: I Do! Do You?





















It's wedding season! And I'm on the road again. 

This weekend, I am off to Washington D.C. for the wedding of a college bestie/ roommate. I am writing this post from the United Lounge while sipping an early morning latte. Obviously, I have already scoured Ohare for El-No material (fanny packs seem to lurk in the hallways during these early morning hours). 

For all of you brides-to-be out there, I have one heck of a "something new" for you. Anyone want at $10,000 Kenmore kitchen makeover? How about being the star of a reality TV show? Got your attention? 

The Kenmore brand is riding the wave of wedding season excitement by seeking eight brides-to-be from across the country to be featured in one of eight episodes that will air this summer. The cast and audience will receive the wisdom of the wedding world from leading experts in preparation for their big day.

Through TODAY (June 15) brides-to-be can audition for Bridal Wave. It’s as simple as applying on Facebook with a short video describing yourself and your wedding plans. Throughout the series each contestant will host a blog on to share tips, provide inspiration, ask questions and receive advice from readers. At the end of the series the bride-to-be with the most reader and viewer engagement – via total number of comments, likes and interaction – will be awarded a $10,000 Kenmore kitchen makeover.

Already tied the knot? Don't miss out on the fun. Starting July 14, three pre-wave episodes will air to include advice from couples married for 25 years as well as newlywed knowledge from last year’s Bridal Wave cast members. The eight-week series premieres on August 4 airing on Saturdays. During each episode, brides will be joined by leading industry insiders to plan the wedding of their dreams – from honeymoons to catering, makeup and DIY, all the wedding bases will be covered. Participating experts include Debi Lilly, named by Oprah Winfrey as a best pro and owner of A Perfect Event and Toni Federici, founder of as featured in Martha Stewart Living.  

To attend the live Saturday episodes at the Kenmore Craftsman Brand Live Experience, visit the Monday before each episode to request a ticket. Attendees will be selected by lottery. For a complete schedule of the show or to view the live video stream please visit


A local Chicago production with a national following, Bridal Wave offers business benefits for potential sponsorships through viewer and reader exposure. To learn more about sponsorship opportunities for Bridal Wave please contact Gustavo Leone at


El-No: Stop These Summer Stripes

Vertical stripes are the Jessica Simpson of fabric motifs. When done well, you can look lithe. When done wrong, you can look like you eat buttered poptarts.

Miss El-No was hanging out by the Armitage brown line stop. She appears to be enjoying the summer weather with some girlfriends while wearing the world's least flattering pants.

It is really a result of the fit- they are too tight! Stripes, like life, are really better when relaxed.

Maybe she can try these Striped Belted Cropped pants from Calvin Klein ($29.99) on for size? These pants would be fabulous with a tank and some cute bright sandals or flats. 


El-Yes: Such A Stud

They distracted me from the bananas.

A glimmering metallic stud caught the light and consequently caught me eye. Add in the black quilted bag, bright orange shorts, and white silk tank- you've got a winner! Miss El-Yes looked positively refreshing.

I love how her edgy ballet shoe (totally the Black Swan of shoes) played with the bright trend forward shorts. Fantastic!

Get Miss El-Yes's look with these adorable studded flats from Steve Madden for $99.95 (or slurge on these beautiful Valentino flats for $595). Stop me in my tracks when you add on some sassy orange shorts from Amanda Uprichard for $107. These silk shorts come in a multitude of colors... I'm kind of obsessed (and I don't even wear shorts!). 


El-Buy: Ready for White

Last night, I had a dream about white pants.

In my fantasy, I was wearing white pants and my butt looked really good in them. Maybe this will be the summer that I can join the ranks of the fabulous leggy girls parading around town in their bleached slacks? If that is going to be true, I better get my bum to the gym. 

I seriously lust after this summery staple. I have day dreams of throwing on a pair with a bright tank and some fabulous metallic sandals. What, this outfit? I just grabbed it all as I dashed out of the house. It's positively casual. 


I think that I found my unicorn (white jeans that actually look good on me). The Gap 1969 mid-weight curvy jeans might be the ones that work. And for $59.95, I can afford to find out. 



El-No: PSA - Sandals Can Be Pretty

I adore sandal weather. 

In sandals, I feel like I could go to the beach at any moment. It also gives me an excuse to get frequent pedicures. What's not to love about that? 

But there is one little issue that seems to crop up each summer. For some reason these hideous all terrain sandals keep making an appearance. Why oh why would anyone wear these? Are you backpacking through Chicago? This perfectly adorable outfit was ruined because Miss El-No wanted to pretend that she was going white water rafting/ climbing a mountain at the grocery store. Make it stop.

As a public service announcement, I would like to direct your attention to Sandal World. This magical website only stocks adorable summery sandals (perfect for all of those days that you are not crossing a rocky riverbed or hiking the Appalachian Trail). You can thank me by handing over your trail mix. 


El-No: Bermuda Triangle

I think that we have a Bermudian in our midst. 

Pink sand and blue ocean- I can picture it now. In the island British territory of Bermuda, the warm weather has created an interesting tradition in men's business attire. Bermudian men pair knee length walking shorts with knee socks to create a warm weather alternative for the office. The short and long sock combination was adapted from the Bristish warm weather milatary uniform. This look is often paired with highly polished brown shoes (know in the Royal Military as "brothel creepers." Yikes. 

I'm pretty sure that slouched boots and hoodies are not supposed to be included in the ensemble. Mr El-No is obviously confused, either that or he is rattled after a sailing trip through the Bermuda Triangle. 

Either way, he needs help. I am sure that the Queen does not want to interupt her Diamond Jubilee to deal with this travesty. 

Mr El-No can purchase these Polo Ralph Lauren chino shorts from Bermudian clothier A.S. Cooper. But to get the socks, he can just hop over to Kohls. Pair with a dress shirt, tie, and blazer and voila!

*Thanks for the photo CBR





El-No: The Long and Short of Shorts

It's time.

Short season is here. May the good Lord give me strength and a cellulite free Summer.

I don't wear shorts. I'm afraid that I could end up looking like Miss El-No and her overly short shorts. You see, each one of us has a magical zone on our legs- a place where shorts and skirts should fall. Go too short and you end up looking like a tropical hooker; too long and you're part of the FLDS.

This "end zone" for hems is different for all of us and is mainly determined by leg shape. Most woman with a shapelier thigh look best with a short/skirt the ends slightly north of the knee (right before the thigh widens). This provides the illusion that your leg stays slim all the way up. Miss El-No didn't get the memo.

J. Crew understands that shorts aren't a one size fits all operation. If I was going to wear shorts, I'd buy them here. These are some of my favsies:

Great Gams: 3" short in Tiki print $65

Model Momma: 5" short in Neon Pink $45

Relaxing Poolside: 3" Beach short $59.50

Bitchin' Bermudas: 9" short in Antique Paisely $69.50


El-No: Cowgirl Crafternoon

Hey there cow pokes! Boot scoot your way on over to Wicker Park. There is a cow girl on the loose and I think that she needs a little wranglin.'

Miss El-No was walking her dog when I stumbled upon her (I say stumbled because I was slowly walking home after an orgasmic char dog lunch at Phil's Last Stand). She was resplendent in cowgirl boots and knit white shorts that were embellished with a row of long white fringe on each side. Judging from the mismatched whites and sewing job, I'd say that Miss El-No was hit with the Pinterest truck and decided to DIY herself up.

I think we all know what happened here. Girlfriend has been watching too much Bachelorette and is trying to lure in boys by channelling her inner Emily Maynard. Sadly, this "Joann Fabrics does Country Western Minx" look is not working. I don't even think she could pull this off in Dollywood.

Skip the cowgirl crafternoon and just order this Blueberry Iced Tea Dress from Modcloth ($47.99). Pair the dress with these Frye Billy Pull On Women's Boots ($268) and you'll be all set!


El-Yes: Red, White, and Blue BBQ

I was baby free when I ran into Olivia's Market to pick up some last minute Memorial Day odds and ends. An ice cold bottle of Rose and some fresh asparagus stalks topped the list.

I was sweaty from a long hot lunchtime stroller walk and an afternoon Dailey Method class. I broke my cardinal rule and dressed in gym clothes and little makeup. Just a holiday... Who cared?

But then I saw Miss El-Yes and her beautiful BBQ ensemble. So fresh and easy- hair up in a bun with a strapless dress and metallic flats. And this is exactly why I try to dress each day. Her whole look took little work to put together, but left a lovely impression and made her feel pretty. Miss El-Yes seemed effortlessly BBQ ready.

Just like DVF said, "Feel like a woman. Wear a dress." What a great reminder as I kick off my first summer as a Mommy.


El-Yes: Flower Pant Power

I absolutely adore these wide leg floral pants.

Honestly, I am surprised that sentence just came out of my mouth. I was dressed in Laura Ashley in my formative years and am not sure that I want to relive my blossoming period in the late Eighties and early Nineties. 

But this is floral done right. While Miss El-Yes paired these flowery pants with a simple t-shirt and cardi, she sassed up the look with some bedazzled shoes. Fabulous. 

You can get her botanical look with any of these great slacks: 

Graphic Cool: 3.1 Phillip Lim Quince Silk Pants $450

Feminine Flow: Free People Floral Print Wide-leg Pants $49

Pretty Preppy: ASOS Oasis Floral Print Pant $78.28




El-No: Staying Alive

This really is unbelievable.

I was taking an afternoon stroll down Damen and enjoying the sunny weather. I must have walked into a black hole or a rip in the time/space continuum because I was magically teleported back to the Seventies.

For serious. Polyester was involved.

The time travel did a number on my reflexes because I could only snap a photo as Mr El-No breezed past. I felt like I was watching the ghost of Barry Gibb.

The picture just doesn't do it justice... I apologize for my photography fail.


El-No: These Shoes Must Go

So, this happened. Someone let their Birkenstocks out of the "Donate" Spring cleaning bag.

(I am embarassed to admit that I had Birkenstock clogs once. I was in high school and was obviously going through a phase. I also spent an disconcerting amount of time making mix tapes. Oh to be seventeen again...)

These unflattering leather sandals should only be worn by the following people: 

1. Costume party hippies 

2. Women over the age of fifty who shop at Chico's and like eclectic jewelry. 

3. Podiatry patients

Mr El-No does not appear to fit into any of these categories. Thus he needs to loose the lame-o sandals and switch into a beachy boat shoe. How about one of the Band of Outsiders for Sperry options? I am in luuuurv with these Men's 3 Eye Boat Shoes for $175. 




El-Yes: Tangerine Dream In The Produce Section

Weekend grocery shoppers have the most extreme ensembles. They range from post-brunch amazingness to roll-out-of-bed disasters. I can't help but click away the camera during my weekly trip to Stanleys. 

I am in lust with this bright and casual weekend outfit. The cool hat, the cheerful envelope clutch, the zippy pants, and the Toms. LOVE. She looks like she is ready for a long day of relaxing on a patio (my kind of Sunday Funday). 

Get weekend ready with these great pieces: 

Halogen Two Tone Straw Fedora for $78

Simply Vera Vera Wang Quilted Envelope Clutch for $34.30

Black Timeless Tank from Banana Republic for $20

Tangerine Blaze Marissa Cotton Cropped Poplin Cargo Pants from Loft for $49.50

Feed 12 Women's Vegan Classic Toms for $58




El-No: NATO Summit Chicago 2012

You say potato and I say pototo

You say NATO and I say NOTO

Potato; Pototo


Let's call the whole thing off!


Do you like my song? 

I'm not protesting NATO. (Yay North Atlantic Treaty Organization!) But I am protesting all of these people making it impossible to do anything in Chicago this weekend. (Go back to Brussells!) How on earth am I supposed to get photos of bad ensembles if I don't have the ability to walk around downtown? 

NATO is forcing my hand and making me stick close to home. Watch out Wicker Park!


El-Buy: Kate Looks Great

I have princess envy. 

I have switched my Middleton allegiance from Pips to Kate. Don't act surprised Pippa. You know what you did. LEGGINGS as PANTS?!

This lace back gown is just stunning and has turned the Dutchess of Cambridge into a bit of a sexy Sadie. Never one to directly copy, I found these amazing black lace cocktail dresses that might need to make their way into my closet. Behold the Mason by Michelle Mason lace back cocktail dress ($335) and the lace dolman dress ($380). They are the perfect marriage between conservative and sexpot. 

* Picture from Radar Online


El-No: Derelict 

I only got like three consecutive hours of sleep last night. That might be why I find this ensemble so hilarious. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm mildly delusional today.

Regardless, a faux fur trench, unlaced Doc Martens, and athletic socks are humorous on their own. But together? It's fashion comedy gold that appears to have been inspired by a volunteer donation sorting shift at the Goodwill intake center.

Lack of clothing continuity aside, Miss El-No needs some serious style updating. She should loose the disastrous juxtapositioning and try out some new seasonally appropriate trends.

How about neon? Maybe this pink Michael Kors dress ($1,595) or this great neon yellow Topshop dress ($92)  paired with these bright sandals from ASOS ($69.50). Much better!


* Thanks for the photo MLS 


El-Yes: Hello. I Love You.

These multi-colored shoes are perfection. When paired with a graphic black and white coat, they are even better.

The kicker? This chica has a small child! Proving that mommas don't have to look frumpy dumpy. Miss El-Yes two thumbs up in my book.

Channel her amazing look with this fabulous Constance black and white striped coat from Alice + Olivia for $495. While a big ticket item, this topper is a great buy for Spring. Add on these Dune Colorblock bold shoes from ASOS for $156.56. They come in blue/green or pink/orange. Sigh. You might need both pairs.  

You'll be the sassiest lady at Bubbles for sure.


El-Yes: Sunshine Shoes

Recently, I've been spending an embarrassing amount of time at Starbucks. The baby-friendly environment and caffeinated beverages are like crack to a new mom. This weekend, in a sleepy haze, I stumbled into our neighborhood Starbucks for a hit... I mean an iced coffee. I saw these fabulous bright yellow shoes. 

I need these sunny kicks! One look at them made me forget my fatigue and instead, start humming along to Katrina and The Waves. I'm totally walking on sunshine!

I am in lust with these Belle Sigerson Morrison laser cut ballet flats. The bright yellow and fabulous cut-outs are perfect for summer. I. MUST. HAVE. THESE. SHOES. ($225)




El-No: Ode To Tan Mom

People really need to lay off the Tan Mom.

Her baseball glove-like appearance makes me want to slather on sun block.  Dermatologists everywhere are cheering! Down with skin cancer and premature wrinkles! One photo of Tan Mom accomplished what the entire cast of Jersey Shore couldn't... and just in time for Summer. 

I'm suddenly ok with being pale. 

In other news, Tan Mom has a Chicago based relative named Orange Guy. I got this reader submitted photo on St. Patty's Day. Orange Guy stepped out in a pale green suit. It's like a Creamcycle and a Shamrock Shake met and had a baby.  

If Mr El-No lays off the spray tanning, I think this lighthearted green ensemble could work. It is witty and Miami Vice (in a good way) but really cannot work with his current orange glow. I suggest he cancel his Palm Beach Tan membership and spend the money on a scrub.  How about this June Jacobs Men's Exfoliating Scrub for $32? 




El-No: Moons Over Miami

File this look under: Things Not To Wear To The Roller Derby 

There is nothing more thrilling than an afternoon spent on skates (especially when your dance routine is washed down with an ice cold can of your mom's stash of Tab. Just me?).

I guess roller skates make me nostalgic. But it is hard to reminisce when you have a bare bum in your face. Dudes, we don't need the full moons. 

I think these Misters should move away from the leather goods and try for something a little less chilly. This Bettie Page pinup shirt ($24) seems like a better fit. Campy nudity? Check. Traumatized by a tush? Negative. 

*Thanks for the photo JK